whales2good (whales2good) wrote,
whales2good
whales2good

Lost in a Speeding World

I want time to freeze. I want to be mentally disabled so that I wouldn't have to feel anything or know of any pain. On Monday I was told the wonderful news that I'm still pregnant. They had me take the Hcb levels to see how far along I was. Today, the results came in. Thursday, my levels were at 124...Monday they were at 7. Single digit. You left me, Peanut. I didn't think it were possible to miss & love someone you've never met before. How do I tell your daddy that you're gone? How do I look him in the face and tell him that the child he would pray for everyday is no longer within me? I didn't want to get my hopes up for a reason. I want to believe that God is going to do a miracle, but how when the blood work came back negative. The child I was writing to before does not exist.
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